Originally published in the April 19-25, 2002 edition of the South County Times
by Linda Briggs-Harty
Hilda Schryver has lived in the St. Louis area for just nine months, but already she's known by many local folks as "the manners lady." More precisely, she is the manners for kids lady.
She's been teaching business communication and common courtesy to adults and older youth all over the country for years and as a South County Chamber of Commerce members staying busy locally as well. But her work with kids is gaining special notice here.
Schryver recently self-published a book on etiquette for kids, "Ms. Hilda's Adventure Into the World of Manners." Dressed up as the colorful character in the book, donning different headpieces to match the manner in question, Schryver takes her courtesy for kids show to schools, libraries, bookstores, and other sites to press her point all the more.
She'll appear at Borders Books in Creve Couer at 11 a.m., April 20, to read her book to children of all ages. As always, she'll carry her bright blue "mundito," or world, bag full of fun props that keep kids (and adults) attentive: her signature cat's-eye glasses and the head pieces used to highlight differencet manners, such as the one sporting a knife, fork and spoon for the food section.
"I'm passionate about this work. Everyone needs good manners to succeed in life, but you must learn courtesy and kindness early on before bad habits settle in," she said.
That rudeness is a nation-wide problem is well-known fact. A recent survey of Americans by the non-profit public opinion center Public Agenda showed that rudeness is on the rise. With rampant reckless driving, cell phone abuse, poor customer service, open swearing and stupid swaggering common everywhere, Americans conclude that life truly was more civil in the past, the study said.
"Lack of manners for Americans is about the daily assault of selfish, inconsiderate behavior that gets under their skin on the highways, in the office, on TV, in stores and elsewhere," said Public Agenda President Deborah Wadsworth on the center's website.
So Schryver helps kids bone up on the basics to prevent future problems. "That's the way to ask. Please. Thank you. You're welcome," reads her book. "Good, no elbows on the table. Thanks for not throwing food. Thanks for sitting down."
Ms. Hilda's facial expressions show both positive and negative responses to kid's actions on every page. The message is well received, according to kids and adults who've read the book or seen her show.
An Oasis volunteer in a Dittmer, Mo., grade school said a somewhat "lawless girl" she regularly tutors showed improved manners right after she read the book.
"Parents and caregivers are stressed these days. They need help in teaching all aspects of good manners," said Schryver.
Schryver has been steeped in good manners for as long as she can remember. Her mother, widowed at a young age with give young children, instilled in Schryver the importance of respectful behavior. Schryver--whose full name is Hilda E. Tamez Schryver--suffered the stings of rude responses as a part-Hispanic youngster growing up in San Antonio, Tex. Spanish is her original language. "Ms. Hilda's Adventure" has been translated into Spanish.
Schryver assumes her passion for politeness may stem from these early insults, she said. After high school, she worked as a long-distance operator for Southwestern Bell Telephone. In those days, the phone company would monitor every call to ensure their employees' perfect customer service.
"They taught us manngers like you wouldn't believe," she said.
When the phone company deregulated, Schryver's managerial position was cut, so she started selling polethylene film for Raven Industries in South Dakota. She held courtesy workshops on the side for old phone company clients wanting behavior from employees.
For a year she operated what would become Schryver Enterprises for free. "That's how much I believed in what I was doing."
When her husband, Tim Schryver, transferred all over the country as a training specialist first for Honeywell and then for Siemen's Corporation, Schryver picked up clients in the new towns and kept the old. Now she travels widely, maintaining Schryver's Enterprises and building upon her new niche in children's etiquette. Several subcontractors now work for Schryver's Enterprises.
Her husband recently joined her efforts after retiring from Siemen's. "We're the perfect duo--I'm detail-oriented and quite anal; he's broadminded and a visionary," she said.
"Ms. Hilda's Adventure" is dedicated to the Schryvers' son, Robbie Lane. As expected, Robbie is the epitome of good etiquette. "Everyone says so," she said.
Book customers keep requesting a second book, Schryver said. A children's creative calendar will be available soon. Call Schryver at (636) 274-4474 or email her at sewrld@aol.com for more information about the book and what's to come.
Schryver offers an autographed bookmark to those kids who master the essentials of good manners: respect, taking turns, no pushing, no hitting, no whining, no interrupting, table manners, and sharing.
Now if only the adults can learn those, too.
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